The Big One with Sailor Martin

As some of you already know, Sailor Martin makes occasional, feeble attempts to be a movie star by making his own short movies with almost all of his footage stolen from 1950s documentaries. He has just posted a new one, The Big One with Sailor Martin, in which the atom bombs are falling and all he can think about doing is making calls to girls he knows to see if they are interested in hooking up.

I am a celebrity in the world of babies

I caught a baby looking at me at a bookstore the other day. He saw me, his eyes went wide, his mouth dropped open, and he goggled at me nonstop. Were an adult to make this face, it would be because they just saw a celebrity.

It got annoying after a few seconds. As I walked past the baby, I hissed at him:

"You don't know me," I said.

La Noche de Walpurgis

Went to St. Anthony Main tonight to watch a monster movie; it's Halloween, and the film was part of a series I like called Atomic Show. These usually play at midnight, which is about the right time to watch the obscure and unnerving cult films they offer. Tonight's film, Werewolf versus Vampire Women, might have been better at midnight, when the scripts huge lapses in logic wouldn't much matter, because logic doesn't matter when you're half-asleep. I tried getting half-drunk for the show at Pracna on Main, but only had enough time for one cocktail, which isn't enough.

The film starred Jacinto Molina, better known in the US as Paul Naschy, among a few hundred additional pseudonym. Molina rather looks like Marlon Brando, but with a sharper nose and crueler eyebrows, and, for some reason, he appeared in a lot of horror films, frequently as a werewolf -- your usually furry faced fellow, although Molina has a weird habit of drooling quite a lot. His werewolf films also feature an added, and nonsensical, twist: He can only be killed by someone who loves him. This forces the scriptwriters to wedge an incredible romance into the story, although the only person ever to take their shirt off is Molina. Although, in this one, there are enough scenes of women primping for bed to suggest there is a more risque European version out there somewhere.

But, then, I always think there is a more risque European version.

Five Mixed Drinks Nobody in this City Knows How to Make

1. Sazerac
2. Clover Club
3. French 75
4. The Millionaire
5. Leatherneck

Actually, very few local bartenders know how to make such standards as an Old Fashioned, a Pimm's Cup, and a Godfather, so going out drinking can be quite disappointing. Sailor Martin says I should just stick to rum and cokes, although he's dying to find a local bartender who pours a good zombie.

Judge shows

I can't be the only one addicted to them, can I? A day without Judge Joe Brown is like a day without justice.

New Movie

Just discovered an old horror film and immediately ordered it from Amazon.com. It's called Sugar Hill, and is an obscure 1974 Blaxspoitation film about a nightclub owner who is shaken down my the mob. They kill her boyfriend, so she does what any reasonable person would do in the circumstances: She contacts Baron Samedi to raise a zombie army so she can exact her revenge.

I can't wait.

10 Songs I Love But Will Drive Everyone Else Out of the Room

1. Do It Like a Dog :: Dean Milan
2. Nature Boy :: Tony Randall
3. People Say I'm No Good :: Charles Manson
4. Mein Herr Marquis :: Florence Foster Jenkins
5. Chicken Walk :: Hasil Adkins
6. Hello Lucille, Are You a Lesbian :: T. Valentine
7. Standing in a Trash Can (Thinking About You) :: The Legendary Stardust Cowboy
8. It's a Gas :: Alfred E. Newman
9. The Crusher :: The Novas
10. The Complete Crow Calling Record :: Herter's, Inc